Day 7 - Birth of a Nation, Heavy Chevy, giving an inch and taking a fucking mile

I went to see Birth of a Nation which was pretty good as far as slave movies go. I get so violent in my head while watching those type of movies. I'm all Chucky from Child's Play I, like, "Kill him! Strangle him!" In real life, I'm softer than the Jersey Knit Sheets I buy.

Anyway, so the self-help bitch done got me again. The new thing is a guy I call Heavy Chevy. A little background on HC. I used to talk to him last century and while I was talking to him his GIRLFRIEND found out and emailed me. His having a girlfriend was news to me and I actually thought she was someone playing with me. Har-de-har-har-the-fuck-not. So, I found out he had a girlfriend with whom he was actually living. I found that to be even more astounding because he used to spend most of his off nights with me. (We both worked overnight at the time.) So, after the knock-down-drag-out (not really), we parted ways with harsh words floating in the dust. Fast forward to approximately 3 years ago. Who walks into the door of my current job smiling like a nutter? His punk ass. He said, "what's up?" like we were long lost friends. I almost lost my shit because I had totaled my car the same week and was at my wits end. If looks could kill he would've been de-hearted that day. From that fateful day last century to this, I haven't spoken more than 8 words to him. You're fucking dead to me, is my motto for anyone I used to talk to. Fast forward to 2 years ago, the same ex-girlfriend who first called to tell me he was her dog and ask how I got him to tell me the truth(uh, I didn't, obviously) because she couldn't get him to do so, started working there too! What THEE shit damn fuck is going on?! Is this the only company in the entire metropolis?

Now we're caught up. Ok. Remember when the self-help bitch told me to contact people even if I hate their fucking guts? I thought long and hard about him because I didn't want him to think the lines of communication between us were re-opened. In the end, I decided to go forth with what her teachings advised. I thought I was off the hook. He didn't say anything for like 3 - 4 days. Today was the day of reckoning, though. He initially thought I had the wrong person. I assured him I didn't. He came back saying he thought he'd never hear from me again. Well, you woulda been right if I had my way, but I'm trying this love, peace, and happiness bullshit out for size and, unfortunately, hating you isn't included in the program, to my utter disappointment. He then went on to say something else. Blah blah blah. My mistake here was making a 3 word joke. After that he felt like it was long past time for some sort of catch up session. So, I wrapped things up. Then, he said:
You're welcome.
Friends?
Uh, absolutely not you sack of dirty balls & shit. I said something a little nicer than that, though. Can you believe that my brain was trying to guilt me into saying yes? It was all, "Well, you've been talking to him all this time, leading him on. You knew he would want to maintain contact with you especially at work." Um, fuck you guilt brain! Thankfully, I overcame that and advised him that I wasn't up for no got damn friendship. Because I'm not. Anyone I've ever talked to can eat a bag of clits and get the fuck outta my face. Fuck you.
Got damn self help heifer.

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