You win some and you lose some...

As we can see, 30 consecutive days turned out to be a bit much for the kid. I was trying not to think of my audience when I thought of writing, but that's a bit difficult. I wanted to write just for the sake of writing and getting myself through a rough patch. However, it's difficult to not want to entertain. What's the point of me saying hey guys read my blog if it's just stream of consciousness with no appeal to the average reader? I'm sure you guys want to hear some cracky tales, but unfortunately, I don't have any new ones to go around.
One thing I've realized during this bout of depression is that the desire to commit suicide and addiction have a lot in common. Any former addict will tell you that they still struggle with the desire to go back to their addicted ways. Everyday I struggle with the desire to just be done. Every. Single. Day. The only difference is that, as far as I know, I've never committed suicide before so I'm not fighting off something that I had once done.
What do you do when you have nothing to look forward to? This is a question I ask myself repeatedly. Am I supposed to just trudge along, working and coming home to read? Is that what should do, really? People always say that suicidal thoughts are not normal. I have to say I disagree.

I wrote this days ago, I want to write more, but I'm super sleepy. Maybe more later.

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