Life Is My Pet Peeve

***edit: autocorrect will not let me live!*** When I was growing up, I was left to my own devices for a good part of the time. Not that I was alone, but I just wasn't included in a lot of things. My siblings are at least 4 years older than me. Anyway, as the youngest I didn't get a lot of tv time which is part of the reason I don't watch a lot of tv now. However, after everyone went to sleep, or tired of tv watching, I would watch music videos and Def Comedy Jam.  Oh, Def Comedy Jam. How I loved thee! Of course, this was before life experiences forced me into grinchhood. So, I was watching Def Comedy Jam having a grand ole time. I love nothing better than to laugh. (This is probably where my love of cussing came from, too.) That night, however, I must've been enjoying it at a volume a bit louder than normal. My grandfather overheard the jokes. My grandfather IMMEDIATELY yelled for my grandmother, "Mama! (She hated being called "mama.") Do ...

I'm about to tell you guys what I've learned from boys in my own history. I want to pass on my discoveries. Tangentially (already) I cannot transition to saying men and women. I have no idea why. Men are boys (dudes, guys) and Women are girls. Know that I don't mean to offend. I write in the same terms that I think. Anyway, I will start with 2 things I've learned because the explanations and questions I have take a little while to get through. I'm writing in absolutes, but I acknowledge that these are not the opinions of all men... I acknowledge, but kind of like in a not-real-life sort of way. Entonces. Uno They are not as dumb as we think they are by any stretch of the imagination. They have managed some pretty sophisticated reverse psychology on the world in their day, so 🎼 "don't you ever for a second get ta thinking..." How on earth does one explain 75% of women not orgasming from vaginal penetration and we still know women who are...

I am a grumpy grinch. I know this about myself and I really try to take the appropriate measures to avoid tainting other ppl's day. No need for me to yuck anyone else's yum, right? I'm a "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" type of gal. I can't take a lot of stupid shit. Neither from myself nor others. When I sat down to come up with topics to start out with, for this blog, I started making a list, but at one point, I was like, "I hate everything from the time I wake up until I drag this carcass to bed at night." I crossed out what I had written and just wrote "life" in black Sharpie across the list. I hate talking to ppl I don't want to talk to. I hate being alone, but definitely hate being around others. I hate pleasantries and I hate listening to boring stories about ppl's lives. I hate how unfair life is. I hate the Jedi mind tricks that society at large plays on the masses and how, we, the mas...

----updated---- I just realized the original title looked like I have a problem with trigger warnings which I do not. Sorry I'm so dimwitted. !!! Trigger Warning!!! !!! Trigger Warning!!! #Also, long-as-fuck warning. Bear with me, please.# As of the late, I have been using the common approach of sticking my head in the sand. The world is too big and too bad. To avoid crying in a dark corner even more than I normally do, I have checked out almost completely. I've gotten rid of all social media and have pretty much banned my best friend from talking about anything more pressing than spaghetti sauce. I know it's cowardly, but hey. What can I say. There are worse things I could be, at this point. I've gone back and forth about writing this, but now is the time. There will never be a good time. Let's talk about the taboo subject of rape. I've decided that as a survivor I should not feel ashamed because I didn't do the wrong thing and I shou...

Disclaimer: this post is gonna be pretty gross to some people. So, heads up before you go on... My vagina and I have had a strange couple of weeks. Last week, in particular. To start: Actually before I start with that let me give some back story. I am not acquainted with my vagina innards in, almost, any way. Anything I know is based in, just, guesstimations which are based upon a third party's vaginal canal excursions, okay? The pic below is what I imagined in my mind, essentially.  So, what I knew, before last week, is that I do have that *sometimes* elusive g-spot that some women have and some don't. Thank God for small favors because otherwise I would never let a man in there. Get on your knees to praise the Lord, you, lucky fellas, who are graced with the presence of my hairy vag. Also, while you're down there please, uh, you know. Do that thing I like... Thanks so much. Anyway, so I get super heavy periods. Ugh. Like, super-ugh. Anywa...

Have you ever realized that you were *different*, on such a random day, in such a random way, that you couldn’t believe you didn’t see it before? I have read hundreds, no, thousands, of books. Most of them involve some sort of romance. I’ve always read, “I wanted to know [this or that]” or “I want to know everything” about their special someone. I ask, almost every person I encounter, what he or she talks about with their significant other. I just can’t imagine talking to a man about that many things. The most anxiety-provoking thing in the beginning of the situation between The Narcoleptic and I was when he wanted to play Truth or Truth. Truth or Truth? What the fuck? I thought of approximately 3 questions and I’m almost positive I used his questions for me, in the inverse for him.  So, I read these books and listen to people around me, wanting to get to the crumbs of another human. I am not a sociopath and I am not a complete narcissist (not as far as I know), but I hon...

This is basically just a more specific iteration of others wanting every FUCKING bit of your soul. The little crumbs at the bottom of the toaster and the microscopic ones that fell on the floor. One day, I was going to the local chicken joint. I had just called in the order so I stopped by the grocery store next door before I went to pick up my hot-and-ready chicken meal. In The Meantime called me and I foolishly answered.  By that time, I was leaving the grocer's mart and was planning to wait in the car for my food to finally be ready. The local chicken joint takes 30 minutes, at least, for every order. So, I'm sitting in the car, scrambling for things to talk about with someone I don't care about. While doing so I decided I would snack from the bag of potato chips I had just purchased. He asked what I was eating so I told him. Finally, I've exhausted my 30 minutes and go to pick up my food. I told him to hold on, but he could hear background noise and whatnot....

I feel things very deeply. I’m a sensitive soul in some ways, but hard as concrete in others. The problem with my sensitivity is that my brain can’t seem to distinguish the different levels of pain I should feel, based on any given circumstance.  I was so haunted, years ago, by a murder that happened in Texas that it plagued my thoughts and dreams for MONTHS. Which murder, you wonder? It’s Texas so it could’ve been any number of them. The one I’m referring to, though, is when some racist, murderers drug a Black man from the back of their pickup truck. Why are pickup trucks the preferred method of transportation for racists? I guess the better to conveniently transport the many Black people they plan to kill, my dear. Anyway, they drug this poor man on the back of the truck until his fucking limbs came off. How horrifying is that? Because you know shock doesn’t hit as soon as you skin your knee. It probably doesn’t even hit when the bone is showing through after a ...

I am the quintessential lazy person. I don’t want to do anything. If I could stay asleep for my whole life, then wake up dead that would be absolutely, positively fine by me. Just how lazy are you? Do you think you can top me? Well, let’s see. I would rather not have something than to have to do any  maintenance to keep it in working order.   I have an old car that gets me where I need to go *most* of the time. I actually really appreciate it. However, one day a year or two ago (yes, it has been YEARS) the dome light went out. Finally, FINALLY, I got a replacement bulb and installed it. Easy, peasy, right? Wrong. The next day after I replaced the bulb I went to the car and the car wouldn’t start. Called AAA and got a jump. Guess what had happened? Well, because I don’t always make sure my door is completely closed, it wasn’t closed the night before, and the light stayed on until I came out for work the next morning. I asked my hood mechanic if that little dome light ...

Every so often I will become convinced I am on the autism spectrum. Not that I actually do anything about it. It just gives me a sense of “ah, yep. That’s it.” So, I could very well be slightly autistic AND I hate everything. Hence the name of the blog. I don’t hate any one group; I hate ALL the groups and all the people. However, I have, like, hypersensitive empathy issues, which pisses me off. I avoid most people like the plague because I don’t want to get caught up in no shit. That being said, the world is a fucking SHITSHOW. I have never been able to figure out how so many STUPID, UNFOUNDED ideas get such traction with such a large following. As we know, islamophobia is a real muthafuckin’ thing. Even though, if we applied the same fucking rules, we (Americans) should DEFINITELY be christianity-ophobes, if we want to take the one-bad-apple-spoils-the-bunch path. However, to discuss these issues would take much longer than a blog post. Now for what I mean to ACTUALLY discuss. Wi...