Every fucking bit of our souls

Before I get into soul sucking things I have a couple of musings. To start, my new job has an elevator, but it does NOT have a close elevator button! WTF?! How is this a thing? Who would do this??? Second, how many people are living the easy job, easy money life? The job that I have now is fairly easy and straight forward. I get paid more to do less. Of course, I'm still learning, but for the most part I understand it and nothing seems too taxing. Now I'm wondering how many other people have tough "sounding" jobs? They put out these job descriptions and people work the jobs. How many people are living this life? The other day one of my co-workers didn't feel like showing me a thing 15 minutes before it was time to leave. In the end he did show me. Wanna know what it was? We used White Out on a mistake, went to the copier, made a copy, scanned it so that he could access it on his computer, and typed in the correct thing. That was what was too much trouble for a 15 minute gap. Don't get me wrong, I like that the new job is the way that it is and all that, but really? Anyone talking about poor people not working hard for their money and blah, blah, fucking blah, can go dry rot. Sure some jobs are tough and people get paid for those services. And some jobs...

Anyway, so the new job is a day job. Ya'll might not know this, but the kid is not a morning person, to say the fucking LEAST. I have a hard time sleeping and I stopped the sleeping pills to stop those pesky unwanted texts being sent so now I'm just doing the best I can. I woke the other morning maybe 20 minutes before my alarm (ugh) and just lay there thinking about getting up and down, in and out, for decades to come and that's the fucking BEST CASE SCENARIO. Or, I guess, second best. Best case would be hitting the lottery sometime within the next 7 years. Anyway, so I was thinking about that and just thinking that everything about life just wants every fucking bit of us that it can get. We work until there is not the least bit of youth left in us. We get married and our spouses want everything including our total fucking minds and bodies. Family members want to suck you damn dry. Just, ugh. Got dammit. All I get are 3 hrs before bedtime and weekends??? That's just now. If I get married I may only have 30 minutes at a time in the bathroom and the time he's out fucking his girlfriend. For the love of Pete. If I had a child then I may as well just give up any thoughts of having anything. Can't we have a certain amount of things? For example, can I have a child I don't have to birth from 2pm-4pm on Saturdays and a husband let's say, Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 7pm-10pm? No. No I cannot. Can I work a job where I can still afford to find and follow my passions AND not be homeless of mooching off others? Nope.

I blame my parents for the work thing, though. If I had a say in the matter I would've vetoes that kid shit on my parents behalf in a heartbeat. Like, nah, son. Nah, B. You're not independently wealthy and you're also not really that sane. You're passing down poverty and mental illness? That's it?! No. No can do.
My birthday just recently passed and my dad said he wanted to take me to dinner as he had for the past 2 or 3 years. I said ok, let's go at 6. The day of, I woke up super late because I was at the casino until 6am (silly me) so I texted like hey, can we move up the time I'm starving. No response. I waited like 2 hours and then said fuck it I'm going to get some fast food. He texted at 6:30 saying he had just woke up. If this was something you wanted to do wouldn't you have set an alarm before taking your nap, just in case??? Maybe that's just me. Anyway, so he texted me a few days later telling me I should come to his house to talk to him and that I should move in with him. To do what, exactly? This pretty much ensures I WILL NOT go to his house. He shouldn't have given me so much info before I got there. Now I know I'm not going. I just re-signed my apartment lease and ain't no way I'm moving in for whatever his reasons may be. He and his family treated me like a second class citizen during my formative years and now he thinks I'm going to take the vestiges of MY youth to cater to him??? He has certainly lost his marbles somewhere and I cannot tell him where to find them. And I most certainly, ain't helping him look for them. So that's a quick update on me.

Gosh, I wish I could come back and make this blog how I wanted it. Funny and interesting. True to life, but not super serious. It's been nothing, but doom and gloom since inception almost. I will try to think of my best, funniest stories and bring them to you guys.