Life Is My Pet Peeve

I am the quintessential lazy person. I don’t want to do anything. If I could stay asleep for my whole life, then wake up dead that would be absolutely, positively fine by me. Just how lazy are you? Do you think you can top me? Well, let’s see. I would rather not have something than to have to do any  maintenance to keep it in working order.   I have an old car that gets me where I need to go *most* of the time. I actually really appreciate it. However, one day a year or two ago (yes, it has been YEARS) the dome light went out. Finally, FINALLY, I got a replacement bulb and installed it. Easy, peasy, right? Wrong. The next day after I replaced the bulb I went to the car and the car wouldn’t start. Called AAA and got a jump. Guess what had happened? Well, because I don’t always make sure my door is completely closed, it wasn’t closed the night before, and the light stayed on until I came out for work the next morning. I asked my hood mechanic if that little dome light ...

Every so often I will become convinced I am on the autism spectrum. Not that I actually do anything about it. It just gives me a sense of “ah, yep. That’s it.” So, I could very well be slightly autistic AND I hate everything. Hence the name of the blog. I don’t hate any one group; I hate ALL the groups and all the people. However, I have, like, hypersensitive empathy issues, which pisses me off. I avoid most people like the plague because I don’t want to get caught up in no shit. That being said, the world is a fucking SHITSHOW. I have never been able to figure out how so many STUPID, UNFOUNDED ideas get such traction with such a large following. As we know, islamophobia is a real muthafuckin’ thing. Even though, if we applied the same fucking rules, we (Americans) should DEFINITELY be christianity-ophobes, if we want to take the one-bad-apple-spoils-the-bunch path. However, to discuss these issues would take much longer than a blog post. Now for what I mean to ACTUALLY discuss. Wi...

Well, this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down… Once upon a time, I was a bigger fool than I am now. I was young, slim, and hanging out with various dudes. Except one of the guys was my ex-boyfriend. My ABUSIVE, ex-boyfriend. Why was I hanging with him, one might ask? I’m an idiot. Also, see abandonment and attachment issues. Anyway, so one of the guys we’ll call Heavy Chevy, the second guy, Donell Jones, and my ex, we’ll just call him Ex. Okay, what happened is this: I was losing interest in Donell Jones. If I ever had been interested. I find it’s difficult for me to figure out if I actually like someone because of all my insecurities and issues. Anyway, I was losing interest, but I had promised Donell Jones that we could have the movie night he had been asking for, for weeks. Fine. I finally get to my house and I’m antsy the whole time. Why antsy? Because I know Ex will be stopping by in approximately 2 hours as he has done for a while now. I’m j...

“Congratulations! You have acquired one human body. This was a poor decision, but it is probably too late for you to do anything about it. Life, alas, has an extremely strict return policy.” Matt from the book The Art of Starving So, I have reached a crux and have decided to present you guys with a sort of juxtaposition as to how to soldier on. Before I get started, let me start with my problem besides the aforementioned. I cannot in good faith and with my best interest at heart, get into a serious relationship with a man. Men are the way my orientation swings and how I WISH that were not the case. I cannot put trust and my life in the hands of another, especially one who will lie to prevent me from cursing them out just so they have the opportunity to keep fucking me. Or because it’s “cheaper to keep her”, if you will. Mentally cheaper, I suppose. How am I supposed to hand over my direct deposits and my STD free status to some man? Riddle me that shit. I can’t, is the answ...